Friday, 12 September 2014

Matilda's First day at big school

Yesterday was the day that I'd been dreading since probably the day my baby was born. The day when I would have to relinquish her to full time education, the day when her independence from me would grow a little stronger.

Since the day she was born we've not spent a day apart, she has been my constant companion since the 2nd December 2009. Aside from a daily 3 hours at nursery we've been together pretty much all the time. She became used to from an early age coming to work with Mummy (thank you to all our patient and accommodating clients!), or keeping quiet when Mummy was on an important Skype call but now she'll be leaving Mummy for over 6 hours a day. From the first moment I saw her I fell in love and that love grows day by day, watching her take her first step, saying her first words, falling over for the first time, eating those very first carrots to having her first boy crush I've delighted in every stage while cherishing every little detail. Now it is time for her to grow up a little more alone during those school hours, that will seem like an eternity to me each day.

The toughest thing is not being there to protect or defend her. She'll have to begin doing that for herself. Wondering how she is, what she'd doing, how she's coping. Worrying whether she's making friends, whether people like her or will be nasty to her.

Thankfully she is an exuberant, happy, curious, confident little girl who will undoubtedly be alright. It'll be me that'll be a quivering wreck in the first weeks coping with the unnerving silence in the house during the day. I always knew the day would come when she would have to take the first step in the big wide world without us there to hold her, but knowing this doesn't make it any easier. Deep down I know we have shaped her to be a beautiful human being who is kind, considerate, polite and full of love which can only stand her in good stead for the future. Though just like any other parent I worry about her facing difficult situations alone.

Hopefully our extremely close relationship will allow her to confide in us when she is troubled or indeed elated and I know we have tried to equip her with plenty of love to see her through. We are deeply proud of who she is and are confident that she will continue to make us proud as she grows and develops in life.

Remember my beautiful, darling Matilda that you are forever in our hearts and here whenever you need us or indeed when you don't. We'll be waiting in anticipation at the school gates for you with a big smile and a big hug, ready to feel your unconditional love.